


The Heart of Christmas

by goodplay



Category: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964)
Genre: ??? - Freeform, A fanfic literally no one asked for, Christmas Fluff, Coming Out, F/M, Idk what i'm doing, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, RAWR xD, Self-Indulgent, christmas specials, cliché as fuck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-29 00:10:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16733298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodplay/pseuds/goodplay
Summary: In which Hermey realizes he's more of a misfit than he originally thought.Alternative summary: In which Hermey realizes he's gay.





	1. Holiday Blues

Hermey had finished moving a new shipment of boxes into his dental office. He let out a sigh, it had been a lot of hard work, for someone of his stature to carry a surplus of heavy boxes. Boxes filled with new drills, stickers, toothbrushes and floss... But Hermey managed to do so, in the span of a few days. Now all he had to do was unpack the boxes and place them into their rightful place.

It had been a few years since Hermey and his friends had saved Christmas. Business was booming for Hermey, as Christmas town was in need of a dentist, and Hermey saw all kinds of teeth... Overall, Christmas town could work on their flossing as a whole, but Hermey was just glad to bring awareness to dental hygiene in a town that had a mad sweet tooth. Especially around the time of Christmas.

Hermey didn't mind Christmas, the beautiful Christmas lights that adorned Christmas town made it all so marvelous. Everyone had a carefree, happy air to them in the town, but this seemed especially so as Christmas grew nearer.  

And as Christmas did, the amount if appointments Hermey had dwindled down. Everyone was too busy preparing for the holidays to think of a checkup, and well, Hermey couldn't blame them. It was the name of the town after all.

Still, it took a few Christmases after that one special Christmas for Hermey to realize something.

_"_ _Siiiiiiiiilent_ _niiiiiight_ _._ _Hoooooolyyyy_ _night."_ The sound of a familiar Christmas tune had played in one of those Christmas romance movies, and Hermey threw popcorn at the TV.

"That's enough of that." Hermey grabbed the remote, and turned off the TV.

Because you see, Hermey had finished bringing in those boxes two weeks ago. It was now early December, and Hermey hadn't left his living space upstairs of his dental practice, for he was in a depressive slump.

It bothered him. The poor elf dentist was downright upset and he couldn't pinpoint why. He had everything he could ever want, so why on Earth did he feel like such a misfit again?

_Ding dong._

The sound of his doorbell from all the way downstairs was enough to scare Hermey out of his pity party, and Hermey carefully walked down the stairs, and climbed over the boxes, and stood in front of the door, staring out the peephole.

It was Clarice and Rudolph. For a second, he debated on whether he should opening the door, then felt bad for even debating that. They were his friends!

Hermey open the door, and wasn't at all surprised to see the aforementioned reindeer.

"Hermey! Are you alright?" Rudolph asked, a concerned look apparent all over his face.

"Alright? Now why wouldn't I be alright?" Hermey asked. Deep inside, he wondered the same thing himself. _Why wasn_ _'t he alright!?_

"We haven't seen you in awhile. We were worried about you." Clarice frowned.

"Oh!" Hermey hadn't known his absence from the others made such an impact. "Well, I've just been busy... With things, and all." Hermey lied sheepishly. He had been watching cheesy Christmas movies and feeling bad about himself. Why he was in this neverending state of self-pity was beyond him.

"Oh..." Clarice appeared to be looking beyond Hermey, then stared at him. "Alright then. We were just wondering if you'd like to go Christmas shopping with us."

"Christmas? It's November." Hermey blinked.

"Hermey, don't be silly. It's December fifth!" Rudolph laughed, "and it's never too early to start Christmas, anyways."

"Well, I suppose you're right." Hermey pursed his lips together. "Sure, I'll go with you two." He gave them both a small smile. 

Maybe this was exactly what Hermey needed to get out of his depressive slump.

* * *

 

Nope. No, no, no. This was not exactly what Hermey needed to get out of his depressive slump.

"Now, of course we'll be buying gifts for you too. Just at a later time." Clarice said, as she placed a hard hat into the shopping cart, which Hermey pushed. He could only guess that the hard hat was for Yukon.

"Say, Hermey, are you going to get Yukon anything?" Rudolph asked, placing a gold pickaxe into the cart. Just what was this store!?

"Hmm," Hermey thought about it. The prospector had been a great friend to Hermey. He remembered getting especially close to him when they were searching for Rudolph, the two slept in a tent together, but somehow along the way Hermey began feeling strange around Yukon.

Not strange in a way that damaged their relationship, but sometimes he'd catch himself staring at him for too long, and feel weird about it. He'd feel oddly giddy around Yukon, and had wanted to grow closer to him. But how closer can two friends be?

However, he hasn't talked to the man recently. He was deep in the crevices of his peppermint mine, as this was the best time of year to find peppermint. Hermey would usually visit him, but he found himself rather busy wallowing in his own self-pity.

"I'd like too. But maybe some other time." Hermey wanted to proclaim that he wanted his gift to be special, but stopped himself. He thought it might seem weird... It's not that he didn't want the gifts he'd give Rudolph and Clarice to be special, but something about Yukon was different.

Hermey sighed, staring down at the floor. He only wished how to describe the way he was feeling now

Rudolph was so busy glancing at all the toys, he didn't seem to notice how out of it Hermey was. Clarice, however, took great notice to how Hermey was acting. She knew it wouldn't be right to point it out in public, and it might be best to discuss it with him alone.

"Why don't we go to the food court?" Clarice suggested, and Rudolph smiled.

"Yeah, I am getting kinda hungry."

"Hermey?" Clarice asked.

"Huh? Oh, I could go for something right about now." He replied, avoiding eye contact.

"Come on, let's check this all out then. I know a great place that I think we'd all enjoy." Clarice pushed the cart with her head, Rudolph helping her. Hermey stood, watching them for a moment, before catching up to them.


	2. Out of It

Hermey picked at that sandwich presented in front of him, and took small bites. He wasn't in much of a mood to be at the mall of all places, and all he really felt like doing was going home and flossing his teeth before passing out to bed.

But Hermey was already here with his friends. He couldn't continue to dig this hole deeper, and he figured he should try and enjoy himself.

"Wha- now Rudolph, you big goof, look at the mess you made!" Clarice tsk-tsked, as Rudolph failed to carry his tray over to their table.

"Sorry Clarice. I guess I just got a bit overexcited." Rudolph smiled sheepishly.

"Oh, well that's alright. You oughta be more careful, though." Clarice gave Rudolph a kiss on the cheek, and Hermey stopped looking at them, and instead looked at the shoppers around them.

He saw people walking around, smiles evident on their faces, a girl smiling with what looked to be her boyfriend as she admired a wedding dress in a shop window. Hermey turned to stare down at his sandwich, completely losing his appetite.

"Excuse me?" A young woman tapped on Hermey's shoulder. "Oh, well sorry to bother you, but could you take a picture of us?" The woman smiled, holding out her phone and motioned to an attractive young man.

Hermey gulped. "I'm sorry, no, I can't. I, uh, I have to... go... Now..." Hermey stood up abruptly, and walked fast-passed towards the entrance of the mall.

The couple shrugged, and assumed Hermey must have not known how to use a phone, and left.

Clarice, who had gotten out of her lovesick trance, noticed Hermey leave.

"Hermey!" Clarice gasped, hurrying after him, and Rudolph gasped, following quickly behind.

Hermey continued running, until he was finally outside. He ran to the park across the street from the mall, away from all the people to quietly think to himself.

There was no one but him here at the park, and hot tears began to prickle down Hermey's face. He didn't want to admit, but deep down inside he had a slight idea of why he was so down in the dumps.

He felt devastatingly lonely. The cliched Christmas romance movies were not helping, and Hermey just wanted nothing more than to rid himself of this terrible, awful feeling.

"Hermey? That you?" Clarice called out, and Hermey jumped.

"Clarice!" Hermey exclaimed, quickly trying to wipe away at his tears, failing miserably.

"Now Hermey, you know I hate to see you like this. Is something wrong?" Clarice walked over to Hermey. "Oh, Hermey! You've been crying." Clarice frowned.

"I... Just needed to get away from all the people in there is all." Hermey lied, and Clarice saw through this.

"Hermey, look... I know something's wrong. You were hibernating in your home for weeks and didn't answer any phone calls, and Rudolph, Yukon and I were all worried sick." Clarice explain, and Hermey felt guilty.

"Yukon's been worried about me?" Hermey spoke the words before he could take them back. It was no surprise, they were friends after all, but...

"Well of course, Yukon is your friend after all." Clarice gave him a curious look, and Hermey avoided her gaze.

"Right..." Hermey cleared his throat.

"But that's not all. I've noticed the boxes, Hermey, and you've seemed out of it this entire trip, Hermey. Now I'm no expert, but if you are feeling upset you're welcome to come tell me any of your troubles, and I'll try to help you out."

Hermey gave her a sincere smile, "thank you. I know I've been keeping some distance but it's not intentional." Hermey stood up, "where's Rudolph?"

"He just had to check something out, but he's on his way here." Clarice smiled, "would you like us to walk you home?"

As much as Hermey needed to talk out and sort his problems out, he wanted to be alone. "No thanks, I just need time to think. I promise I'll be okay."

Hermey began walking towards his house, and Clarice shouted out to him,

"Hermey!"

Hermey turned to stare at her.

"Swear on it."

Hermey nodded, and continued walking towards his house, taking in all the lights that adorned Christmas town's streets. Soon, light snow began the fall, and a snowflake fell on his nose.

Hermey blinked, and wiped away at his face. He stared inside all the shops, with their lights on and all the happy faces of the people inside. This was supposed to be the happiest time of the year, but Hermey for the life of him couldn't find it in himself to be happy.

Hermey couldn't walking, until he eventually realized he had walked past his house. His heart knew where he was going, but he felt uncertain. Eventually, after what seemed like hours, he saw the sign.

'Peppermint Mine', read the large sign that hung above the dark cave. It didn't help that it was already getting late itself. Without any assistance, Hermey wouldn't be able to see a thing in there!

However, Hermey DID notice a sled with all too familiar dogs sleeping on it, and noticed a backpack lay out. Maybe there was a flashlight or something in there, and he would of course return it once he was done...

Against better judgement, Hermey looked through Yukon's things. He found three gifts, one for Rudolph, another for Clarice, and one addressed to Hermey.

Oh wait, that was him.

As he held his gift in his hands, an evil voice inside him told him to shake it, but he remembered standard elf practice he learned when he was still working with Santa's elves.

_"For crying out loud, you nincom_ _poops! Don_ _'t be shaking any of the presents once_ _they're wrapped, you_ _could end up harming the gift!"_ Hermey recalled his elf foreman shouting at a helpless elf. Still, his box felt exceptionally lighter than the rest of the boxes, and after continually digging, he finally found a flashlight. He couldn't help but wonder what his gift was, as he unzipped Yukon's backpack.

As Hermey was just about to walk away, Yukon's St. Bernard woke up and stared at him, looking at the flashlight in his hand.

"I just went digging for a flashlight, I just want to see Yukon." Hermey explained.

The St. Bernard, whose name Hermey remembered was Klondike, just continued to stare at him.

"It's not weird, there's nothing wrong with wanting to see a friend." Hermey assured, and Klondike walked over to him and gave him a big, wet kiss.

That's when Hermey realized he was explaining himself to a _dog_ _._ He really was out if it.

With a sigh, Hermey turned on the flashlight, and started walking in the cave, looking for Yukon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg I'm such an airhead. I forgot to list this as a multichapter story.. anyways I updated because I'm bored. I thought this story might be 5 chapters but it will probably have more because why not?  
> Thanks to whoever's reading, now and in the near future, if you're out there


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